Drinking Tequila On a Work Day

 Hello. C J here. I’m sitting here sipping a margarita with extra salt. Okay, so it’s a virgin margarita with extra salt. With zero alcohol tequila. We have a couple bottles of zero alcohol tequila and a couple of rum in the house. I often drink a virgin cocktail in the afternoon while I plan out art and typing. They have no alcohol so I can have two if I get bored. Here’s the problem. We’re having a hard time finding the alcohol substitutes these days. So I’m getting inventive. Like, biochemistry inventive.

Let’s say you need a shot of rum. I’m not going to question the fact that you somehow got yourself into a situation where you needed a shot of rum this badly. Well, not much. But you need rum. You only have normal kitchen ingredients to do it but it has to taste the same. What do you do? You make a cup of tea.

Literally. Tea. One cup of strong black tea, normally I use orange pekoe for this, with a pinch of nutmeg. Mix well with a whisk. I’m not kidding it tastes almost exactly like rum, especially in a mixed drink. Next up I need to do the same to tequila. So I have with me writing this a shot of alcohol substitute tequila. It’s kind of a bit much on its own but sometimes I have to do things for science that I regret later.

It has some of the same black tea like notes as rum but it’s sharper. Almost sour. I’m wondering if strong black tea, again orange pekoe, with a ton of lemon juice would work. It’s also almost spicy. Maybe a pinch, a really tiny pinch, of cayenne pepper? That should give it the smokiness it needs. I’ll be back later with a final recipe. Once my throat and tongue recover. That may take a while. Also my collection of stuffed Kirbys are helping with this article. I needed emotional support to deal with the tequila on its own.

C J Mcpherson