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Cakes and Ale and Tea and Biscuits

 Hello. C J here. You know I read his poem once somewhere from an author who was Pagan. It ended with a line that has always stuck with me. ‘With cakes and ale we end our poem.’ I spent a good chunk of my younger years on a mission. I wanted to see if there were any legitimate psychics out there. I’ve had some every impressive readings that turned out to be useful a decade later by predicting something that wasn’t true until it was needed. I’ve had one or two that were really expensive from people who were clearly just stoned out of their minds on something that was not legal back then.



When it comes to psychics it’s hard to tell the reputable honest ones who do it for the good of the world from the people who are tripping out and think it will benefit them. One time, after the best reading I’ve ever gotten, the psychic recommended I make tea and have some sugar in it afterwards at a little tea stand in the shop that was hosting her. I did. This has become a core part of my job. There’s magic out there in the world to be found by us curious and inquisitive humans. After you find it, have black tea and a cookie. Or, as the older poems go, oat cakes and strong ale.

The tea and a cookie rule even made it into my card game Quantum. The game Quantum is me reproducing all my research and training in a fun, easy to learn format. I want to provide education as a basic human right for free or for money if I print it for sale. The game is fundamentally about magic. The game is my ongoing search for the missing pieces of science and engineering. For example, why do humans have five fingers? Every science would say that it’s in the genome. Wrong. Blatantly, flat out wrong.



The genome has one job. It provides the software that builds proteins with its master command structure. It builds proteins that do things like digest food. It does not influence in any way the actual shape of the body that is set after conception but before birth. In addition the genome is in fours. It can only count to four or multiples of that number. Proteins aren’t in fingers more or less than anywhere else in the body. So what does it?

My answer is that we’re living things and life is inherently intelligent. There’s then the question of whether life can be intelligent on purpose in a way that benefits someone. Yes it can. That’s called magic. The easiest way I’ve ever found or come across in my research to access this ability is hypnosis. The term hypnosis is the name of a number of altered brain states like the Alpha state that can be induced on purpose and that allow for access to the inner power that the brain has at all times. It can build muscle, lose weight, alter perception and help to learn things without doing anything.

Why isn’t this common knowledge then? I think people don’t know what to eat after. Hypnosis is an incredibly well studied thing in neuroscience. It’s also a spiritual practice. Is it called hypnosis or magic? Well, to me they’re synonyms. My art in Quantum is designed from the ground up to behave like the mandalas of the Hindu faith. They focus the mind and allow for access to this inner potential through art and storytelling, the two languages we humans like the best for learning. And after reading or playing Quantum you should have a black tea and a cookie you like.

Magic, hypnosis, faith, it all comes down to food. Learning takes carbs. This is a basic fact of my job and is part of why I do it. The more I learn the more times I can cook the food I like in a work day. I do rarely ever get tired of the food I make. All of my best recipes will also be in the card game. And no, they’re not all salad. Healthy eating does not mean endless low-calorie vegetables or food that is high in protein but low in carbohydrates. It means the opposite.



Food contains energy. That’s what a calorie it. It’s the kinetic power we living beings use to draw breath, move our limbs and think. It’s life captured from the sun by chlorophyll and put into a form other organisms can use. Life is one thing and it all works together for that end. In respect of this, I eat a lot of carbs. I take my coffee so sweet it is more like chocolate milk than a latte. Food should be done for enjoyment or your body isn’t going to like digesting it. I make a lot of fried potatoes. I fry a ton of my food, often in butter. This is the traditional Old World Scottish way of cooking.

Notice that we Scottish people live very long and active lives. It’s the butter, trust me. My rule is that if you made it and you can pronounce everything in it then eat it. Don’t just eat enough, eat a ton. Carrots are a vegetable and they’re great for you but really why not add some butter and bacon? We need electrolytes to recover from exercise and bacon has tons of them. I make my own cake mix so that it qualifies for the rule. Then again, with the amount of cocoa powder I put in my cake it’s practically a health food with antioxidants.

Don’t eat boring food. I’m a trained biochemist and sugar is essential for life. Our brains eat calories to keep being brains and they can only process sugar, specifically glucose. Eating only glucose will give you diabetes but eating none will mean you don’t digest other food properly. We need calories to get the calories out of the things we eat. Vitamins are tasty. We’ve evolved to enjoy the taste of the things that are good for us. As for the psychics, well, I eventually learned what I wanted to know. I’m now a trained Norse rune reader and I am trying to bring back the druidic faith for a modern day audience.

And the druids were Celtic. I’m sure they liked their butter potatoes.

C J Mcpherson


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